Connecting the Anecdote

I am just getting sick and sicker, by each day passing. Standing alone is the worst thing to do. Got family, got friends, but still gain no strength. People would say this is only a little ujian given by Him. One day, He would give us the way out. One day, they said.

Till now, what are the things do I get? Nothing. Inner strength has became vanished. Feel like just wanna scream. But people would say, only insane people do scream. Do nonsense talking. Do am I like one? I think so, I said.

Yesterday was history, tomorrow is mystery. Today? For me that would me misery. Endless misery. Endless grief. Immortal sorrow. One could say, be strong. But what a life can give when people only has strength but the real problem does not even getting solved. One says.

Being too dependent would be too impossible for the moment being. Being cheated by the one has led my future in doubt. Ending one thing that has been started would led people’s faith on me being unsure. To begin a new chapter would be too far from my reality. Do one understands me? Definitely no, only Him.

Being a real dead meat, day by day. Do one cares? No one cares. Seems to lose confidence? Yes. Why? Each and every effort I did, reached a dead end. There’s no way turning back. How sure are you? Not sure, but seems likely. Hmm. Hmm..

“Hey, do not give up!” “You are other’s inspiration!” Words of comfort, words of action. Till when? People with great success did passed great journey of both ups and downs. My stories tend the latter, the downs. When I raised another step, another greater problem comes. Mengeluh? Entah.

After all, eyes of sympathy and fingers of blame are pointing towards me. Yeah, they deserve it and I deserve to be blamed. It is not easy to convince people how strong you can rise up again, after thousand and thousand tries you fell down. People will keep saying, “Padan muka, dah salah kau.” Thanks.

This time, I know He will help me out of this misery. Out of today, there must be one of the tomorrows is my day. The day I would become a man, who will read these words. Staring the past time, connecting the anecdote.


15 thoughts on “Connecting the Anecdote

  1. sedihkan macam ni.feels like going somewhere that nobody knows us. insya allah, everythg will be fine.if not today,tomorrow..who knows aite. allah loves you 🙂

  2. do you feel like suicidal? terjun bangunan or something? iA tak ada kan?

    jadinya, walaupun aku tak faham sepenuhnya macam mana kau rase, as long as kau tak terlintas nak bunuh diri sebab masalah nie, aku tahu kau masih boleh bertahan tak ksahlah bertapa susahnya nak mulakan chapter baru kau tu 🙂

    btw, scream always work for everybody (not insane people only)

  3. actually, crying is a better way to let out things. really, until no more tears flow, and then you realised that you successfully coping with that problem. Hehe. I heard your story today, and I will never know how u felt until I myself be in your shoe. empathy they say. but, i am really impressed by how strong you guys are. really. climbing back after a very hard fall on the ground, when it seems like all the bones in your body are broken. sorila hyperbola sikit. hahaha… but remember this. yupp, tidak dinafikan, ujian utk kau lebih susah berbanding untuk aku. itu tandanya Allah sangat sayangkan kau… :’) firasat aku mengatakan, semakin susah ujian yg ko hadapi, maknanya Allah lebih sayangkan kau… heee~

  4. aisar,btol sgt.x de org laen.only Him yg akn trus stia ngan kau.
    ak tao susah utk kau & senang utk ak ckp,tp trusla kuatkan diri.walaupon bukan utk dri sndri,tp utk mak ayah kau.kalau kau down,t risau plak mak ayah kau tgok.
    truskan keyakinan kau pada Tuhan.walaupon kau rse rendah dri,org laen dh bjaya di jln,ketahuilah bhw Allah uji kau bnde ni sbb nk tggikan kedudukan kau di sisi Dia.apa y dh tjdi x bmkna kau gagal..Allah pasti sdiakn sumthing utk kau.ak caya kau akan jdi mnusia hebat satu hari nnt,insyaAllah.Jgn gagalkan dri kau dgn ujian Allah k.Bila Allah sygkan hmba Dy,Dy akan perintahkan Jibrail turunkan ujian utk hambaNya tu.kau terpilih sar.dalam seluruh hamba Dy,kau antara yg terpilih.please rsa beruntung k.insyaAllah sar,family kau,kwn2 kau smua sdg doakn kau.^^

  5. Assalamulaikum. abg Aisar.. Alhamdulillah, aku dpt kenal seorang kawan yang kuat macam ko sar.. insya Allah walaupun ko sedih, down, fail, rasa teruk giler, insya Allah semua tu ada hikmah sar, semoga selepas semua yang ko hadapi skrg, ko akan dapat victory nya nanti, kalau x kat sini, kat jannah insya Allah.. kan tujuan kita buat sesuatu untuk Allah, so, kalau kita nk buat somthing tapi Dia x bgi, xkan kita nk salahkan Dia kan, so, teruskan efford tu sebab Allah melihat pada usaha, bukan pada hasil.. 🙂

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